God Things
I enter the gate with an apology for my readers. Most of you know me personally and are aware of my life and the dramatic changes that seem to forever engulf me since 2022. I tend to give myself license knowing that the only deadline is the one I have self-imposed. Still, I like to keep my promises. It has now been almost six months since my last blog. Like a guilty “confession” I ask for your grace.
I’ll recap in Cliff Note fashion. Our dog of seventeen years passed last November. A few days later we put an offer on a house after months of searching and preparing mentally to move from our home of forty years. Our offer was accepted and the serious task of selling loomed like Mt Everest in a mood to collapse. On me.
While on vacation a few weeks later our family Christmas gift turned out to be a huge, shared case of the flu. Man, woman and child did not escape. I was the last to fall on Christmas evening. I had spent the morning at the only open store buying every known remedy for virtually every known symptom of viral pain and suffering. I stared at my cart filled to the brim with Nyquil, Mucinex, pain relievers, cough suppressants and nausea meds. Boxes of Kleenex were the cherries on top. A young man in front of me passed two bottles of OJ to the clerk. Someone somewhere was going to have mimosas with their Christmas omelets. I longed to hop in his car and join that family for the day. Fortunately for him I carried my stewing germs back to my own bedridden clan.
My husband unfortunately was hit the worst. When the Doctors offer a Stem Cell Transplant as the only cure for AML one tends to believe it is a complete cure and that once the white blood cells are up and running the immune system is as perky and young and flourishing as the borrowed transplanted stem cells. The truth is the white cells are healthy and active, but with the same experience and education as those of a newborn. They have much to endure to gain strength and vitality against the onslaught of viral and bacterial attacks of the world at large. Think preschoolers or day care kids. That’s my 6’3 husband trying to fend everything off in a 70 something aging body. He had to have every childhood vaccine repeated after his “Birthday” as they title it day of transplant.
We somehow got him on the plane and home before New Years. I was working in earnest to prep the house for showings, work on the new home in San Diego and continue the process of purging and packing. Bob could not stop coughing and improved but couldn’t shake the fatigue and congestion.
My 99-year old mother was suffering again and seemed to be in decline. I flew to the east coast to see her as I had a year earlier when she was in distress. Thankfully she was better after I arrived and I spent the week with my family trying not to think about all that needed to be done in LA. I was not feeling well the entire time and learned after I got home that I had contracted Covid! I rested, it passed and life went on with more work to manage the move. I left for San Diego to collect some furniture orders and asked friends to look in on Bob. One day later he was rushed to the hospital. He was incredibly Ill and couldn’t walk.
Bob was diagnosed with serious flu and RSV. He spent a week at St Johns and was discharged to a REHAB facility. I don’t have the fortitude to type out that saga so just trust me when I tell you the word “REHAB” and this institution should not be allowed to exist in the same sentence. Bob rapidly declined in that two weeks literally to the point of death. The Doctor told me with saddened eyes to “Take him home and just make him comfortable.” after I fought to extricate him from their lack of care.
I had a hospital bed and heavy home health care all set up to begin the arduous process of building him back up. Somewhere in the midst of all this activity our house sold. Now the heat was reallllly on. I didn’t have time to process the possibility of negative outcomes. My mushy brain became like runny okra. It’s a wonder I could sign my name much less deal with the escrows, packing, Docusigns, bills, doctors, and the separation anxiety of leaving dear friends, etc, etc. I had so much stress my eyes developed rosacea and intense dry eye that caused me to emit tears all the time. I felt like I was under water and needed windshield wipers for my eyeballs or ocular Depends. Everyone thought I was emotional. All I wanted was to turn off the tap so I could see.
So now you get the magnitude of my life early 2026. This is where my blog title marries my story sharing. People constantly ask me how I do the things I have done. How have I managed so many difficult situations without falling apart?
As much as I would like to take all the credit, and I do take what I deserve, I know that God is watching over me and making things happen. He has placed incredible people in my life that support me at every turn. It is impossible to weather storms such as ours without the selfless love and kindness of friends and family. There have been so many “coincidences”, so many outright affirmations that I am not alone, and that Bob and I are being blessed and looked after day to day. Even with all the challenges we are lifted up continually by the “God things”.
I began thinking about moving after my older daughter and family left California. It made sense to be with our youngest in San Diego. I searched Redfin daily, prayed and dreamed as early as February 2025. It was all part of the process of accepting the reality that we were too old to be at the top of our five-mile canyon anymore. The fact that we almost lost our home and our daughter did lose hers coupled with our health issues made it pretty clear it was time to go. Someone else was destined to fill our property with new love and laughter. I prayed that God would bring the perfect family and that we would also find our dream home for this next chapter.
I had a list of bullet points I shared with my realtor. I never believed it would be possible to find them all. If I had even four of my desires met, I would be content. I wanted to be no more than twenty minutes from my daughter and a five-minute drive to the ocean with walkable sand. We wanted one story with three bedrooms and a two-car garage. A pool would be nice with jacuzzi, but not a must. It was important to be in a safe, quiet, well-established neighborhood. My prayer was for a glimpse of the ocean from inside the house or in the back yard. We had our first choice of location picked out but with the price we could afford I doubted it would ever happen. I continued to haphazardly look at the web not believing anything would materialize until after our upcoming Thanksgiving vacation.
I decided not to look anymore or give the realtor addresses to check out. We were leaving for South Carolina in the next day or two, so I let it all rest until we returned. That night as we watched television a Redfin notification popped up on my phone. I looked down and for some reason ignored my new self-mandate and opened the link. Here was the unicorn we had been searching for. One story check, two car garage check, pool and jacuzzi… nice. Our first pick area! Great quiet neighborhood check, views of the ocean… excuse me?!?? I had to look at THAT again. Every single bullet point on my list was met AND it was underpriced!! My realtor and daughter were at the first open house next day. She facetimed me with an amazing backyard sunset and history was made in that instant. We were one of two offers and not the highest, but the owners wanted to work with us.
If this all doesn’t blow your mind there was an added wink from heaven. I love my hummingbirds and have had multiple feeders for years. I love all birds period and enjoy watching them come and go. The street we have moved to is called “Lady Bird Lane”. Ha! I’m the bird lady on Ladybird Lane now.
This was the miracle of finding our new one-of-a-kind home made just for us. The house even resembles our Los Angeles place to an extent. The pool is the same pear- shape and the living room ceilings are high with white beams like our old family room. There is a small office area off the kitchen with a place for a television perfect for how Bob had been using my iPad with the dining room as his office. I have the third bedroom for my work and exercise area.
The story of our buyer is just as amazing. Our first open house a young woman arrived with family and fell in love with the energy of our home. She made an appointment with our realtor to come back the next week for a private showing. She brought her mother and spent an hour looking over the property. As she and her realtor peered into a closet, they noticed some large, framed photos I had placed inside after clearing the walls of personal pictures. The portrait was of our family and the woman gasped recognizing my oldest daughter as one of her very best friends. They had met at a Mommy and Me group and she had even helped my girl with home décor.
My realtor shared this story with me, and I knew it was a done deal. There was no way this house was not meant for her. I had prayed for a good family that would love our place and carry on with more joy and caring within its walls. It is a special residence and deserves special people. The offer was not immediate and there were escrow snags but in a relatively short period of time we were off the market and all was settled.
Bob continued to recover. I released all the home healthcare and we moved into our new property end of April. We have been working on making it our own. I noticed a distinct difference in my husband’s energy and mine. We are both the calmest we have felt in a very long time. We are taking Pilates together and Bob is working more with clients and feeling stronger. We get to play with our grand-babies and be a part of our San Diego loved ones lives. There is a sense of fresh beginnings and a clean start with no traumatic memories or ghosts of past circumstances in our new abode. We are living out answered prayer and will gladly receive the upswing for as long as it lasts.
I believe in prayer. I believe in God. We can pray for things and often the requests are never realized, at least not in the manner we expected. Usually the prayer and faith is simply the tool that connects us to our creator and sustains us, not a magic wand that grants wishes. I don’t have comprehension of the big picture intelligence that God uses in His wisdom to allow or disallow our wants and needs. Even those who believe in manifesting your own reality have to see that just thinking hard and long, planning and executing dream boards doesn’t always pan out. If so, my early days in Hollywood would have me counting my Emmys and Oscars, probably divorced from a film producer or someone in the industry by now and surely not as fulfilled. Instead, there is a higher power with infinite discernment who loves me like a daughter as He guides my path to the future and eternal life.
The first night of the move the men had left me alone with rooms of boxes floor to ceiling in every nook and cranny. Bob was staying with my daughter the first few nights so I could make the place livable for him. I put myself to work immediately until I noticed a magical glow outside. There was the most ethereal incandescent sunset. It was one of those rare golden lit sun downs where the atmosphere appears washed with rich rose gold. I filmed it with my phone and took a deep breath. I accepted the gift with gratitude as yet another symbol of the love lavished upon me from above. The love of someone who knows what I need to grow, as well as what I desire to thrive.
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 1John 5:14
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, Ephesians 1:18